It didn’t turn into Armageddon.
Ben Affleck was spotted this week attending a school event with his wife, Jennifer Lopez, his ex-wife, Jennifer Garner, and some of their children in a rare outing for the famous trio.
With divorce filings often peaking in March, two relationship experts are advising The Post on how to blend families like Ben and his two Jens after a split and remarriage.
“Blending families after divorce is a complex journey, with implications not only emotional but also psychological and social,” holistic psychotherapist Sadhna Monteiro, founder of Divine Love By Sadhna, told The Post.
Statistics show that about half of divorcées remarry within five years of their split.
“Maintaining a healthy relationship with your ex-partner will significantly impact the ease of blending families,” Nicole Sodoma, a divorce attorney and author of “Please Don’t Say You’re Sorry,” told The Post.
“A strong foundation between the parents can create a positive environment for the children and facilitate a smoother integration of the blended family unit,” she added.
For their part, Affleck and Garner, both 51, split in 2015 after 10 years of marriage. They have three children: Violet, 18, Seraphina, 15, and Samuel, 11.
Affleck and J-Lo, who dated and initially got engaged in the early aughts, wed in 2022. Lopez, 54, shares 15-year-old twins Max and Emme with ex-husband Marc Anthony, 55.
Here are six tips for avoiding exes and uh-ohs that have befallen other celebrity blended families.
With divorce filings often peaking in March, two relationship experts are advising The Post on how to blend families like Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner and Jennifer Lopez after a split and remarriage.Mediteraneo – stock.adobe.com
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner having a chat in Santa Monica in November 2023.Broadimage/Shutterstock
Prioritize the children’s perspective
Sodoma says children tend to recognize both parents as integral parts of their family.
Parents should make sure to treat each other with respect and foster an environment where children feel secure and loved by both of them.
“Co-parents need to understand that each family member, whether from the original or blended family, may have different communication styles, experiences, and expectations,” Sodoma said. “Identify and respect these differences, recognizing that everyone may have unique boundaries that should be acknowledged and understood.”
Monteiro emphasizes the importance of listening attentively and showing genuine interest in others’ experiences and emotions.
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez at the 2024 Golden Globe Awards.CBS
The experts recommend establishing clear communication channels.Faces of Travel – stock.adobe.com
Have open communication
Parents need to be on the same page to provide consistency for children and avoid confusion.
“Establish clear communication channels with your ex-spouse, specifically regarding your visions for the blended family,” Sodoma explained. “Discuss expectations, boundaries, and shared values.”
Monteiro advises setting regular times for conversations that allow all family members to express their feelings, concerns, and expectations.
She noted that “it’s natural for many of these discussions to be difficult and critical at first, but they tend to improve as people get to know each other better.”
Align parenting schedules and create new traditions
Align parenting schedules, especially for the holidays.
“Collaborate on creating new traditions that accommodate everyone involved, such as traveling to a new city or country in lieu of holiday celebrations at home,” Sodoma counseled.
“Consider celebrating special occasions before or after the designated date, providing both parents an opportunity for unique family experiences,” she continued.
Sodoma also suggests sharing calendars to coordinate schedules. She recommends Life360, a family location app, “to see where family members are in real time and establish multiple circles for different family units, ensuring that everyone is informed and included.”
Monteiro says shared experiences and traditions strengthen family ties — it’s important to involve everyone in celebrating special dates, participating in leisure activities, or even simply enjoying a favorite dish together on a specific day of the week.
Use humor to build relationships with stepchildren.Wesley/peopleimages.com – stock.adobe.com
Embrace humor
Harness the power of humor, especially in building relationships with stepchildren, Sodoma said.
“Encourage shared experiences, such as creating a family meme thread, to foster a sense of unity and lightheartedness within the blended family,” she recommended.
Seek professional support when necessary
“Therapy offers valuable tools for addressing psychological challenges,” Monteiro said. “Together, set goals for the family’s emotional and psychological growth. Develop practical strategies to achieve these goals, promoting a positive environment.”
Keep in mind that blending families takes time.sofiko14 – stock.adobe.com
Be patient
A blended family is not built overnight — Bennifer is proof of that.
“Accepting that time is needed and that the integration process may be slow is essential for the success of a new family taking its first steps together,” Monteiro said. “Remember that original families also have challenges and require adjustments where time and empathy are key to a happy life.”
