Last year I finally did something I’d been meaning to do for years, putting together the WORST MOCK DRAFT EVER. The purpose? To troll every single NFL fan base (or at least as many as possible) with the worst possible pick for their team.
A funny thing happened along the way, though … I kind of got a few things right. By accident naturally, of course. But by giving the Panthers Will Levis with the No. 1 overall pick, I trolled Texans fans by passing on Bryce Young for C.J. Stroud. Which looks genius now … or stupid.
One or the other. Maybe both.
Lest you think this is an outrageous exercise, let’s remember the Raiders once took JaMarcus Russell with the first overall pick in a draft that featured Calvin Johnson and Joe Thomas, two can’t-miss prospects who are now Hall of Famers. Jake Locker and Blaine Gabbert were drafted right in front of JJ Watt (and Locker was taken in front of Tyron Smith too).
The Eagles drafted Jalen Reagor over Justin Jefferson … and still went to a Super Bowl in spite of themselves. Even Bill Belichick took N’Keal Harry instead of Deebo Samuel, A.J. Brown or DK Metcalf.
Stop pretending your favorite NFL team makes the right decisions on draft night. NFL teams do stupid things all the time. Come join me on a voyage of bad decisions!
For more draft coverage, you can hear in-depth analysis twice a week on “With the First Pick” — our year-round NFL Draft podcast with NFL Draft analyst Ryan Wilson and former Vikings general manager Rick Spielman. You can find “With the First Pick” wherever you get your podcasts: Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, etc.
NFL MOCK DRAFT
Round 1
From Carolina Panthers
Round 1 – Pick 1
Caleb Williams QB
USC • JR • 6’1″ / 215 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
Chicago
PROSPECT RNK
1st
POSITION RNK
1st
PAYDS
3633
RUYDS
121
INTS
5
TDS
41
OK … someone has to take Caleb Williams. And the only things I could come up with would be the Cardinals trading up to No. 1 and sending Chicago Kyler Murray or the Packers trading up to No. 1 and giving up Jordan Love. But none of those are actually realistic. Congrats Bears fans, you are untrollable for the next several months and maybe much longer if Williams is actually as good as advertised.
Round 1 – Pick 2
J.J. McCarthy QB
MICHIGAN • JR • 6’3″ / 202 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
Washington
PROSPECT RNK
20th
POSITION RNK
4th
PAYDS
2991
RUYDS
202
INTS
4
TDS
25
There was legitimate buzz about McCarthy going second overall, based largely on the premise he’s a higher-end version of Brock Purdy, who Commanders GM Adam Peters helped acquire in San Francisco.
Round 1 – Pick 3
Marvin Harrison Jr. WR
OHIO STATE • JR • 6’4″ / 205 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
New England
PROSPECT RNK
2nd
POSITION RNK
1st
REC
67
REYDS
1211
YDS/REC
18.1
TDS
15
There’s nothing wrong with grabbing a generational WR talent but passing on both Jayden Daniels and Drake Maye would make people pretty mad.
Mock Trade from Arizona Cardinals
Round 1 – Pick 4
Drake Maye QB
NORTH CAROLINA • SOPH • 6’4″ / 230 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
N.Y. Giants
PROSPECT RNK
5th
POSITION RNK
2nd
PAYDS
3608
RUYDS
449
INTS
9
TDS
33
This might be enjoyable for Giants fans but unfortunately in this case they gave up a future first-round draft pick to move just two spots up and grab another ACC quarterback, with multiple quarterbacks sitting there ahead of them at No. 6.
Round 1 – Pick 5
Joe Alt OT
NOTRE DAME • JR • 6’7″ / 322 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
L.A. Chargers
PROSPECT RNK
7th
POSITION RNK
2nd
If the Chargers stand pat and don’t take one of the top wide receivers here, you can expect their fans to be pretty upset.
Mock Trade from New York Giants
Round 1 – Pick 6
Jared Verse EDGE
FLORIDA STATE • JR • 6’4″ / 260 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
Arizona
PROSPECT RNK
11th
POSITION RNK
2nd
The entire world has penciled the Cardinals in for a wide receiver and that’s fair, but they still need a ton of help on defense and could decide to address WR in the second round if they miss on MHJ.
Round 1 – Pick 7
Jayden Daniels QB
LSU • SR • 6’4″ / 210 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
Tennessee
PROSPECT RNK
6th
POSITION RNK
3rd
PAYDS
3812
RUYDS
1134
INTS
4
TDS
50
The Titans have hyped up Will Levis a lot this offseason but he’s a second-round pick. There’s no guarantee a new coaching regime wouldn’t draft over him if the reigning Heisman Trophy winner fell in their laps.
Round 1 – Pick 8
Malik Nabers WR
LSU • JR • 6’0″ / 200 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
Atlanta
PROSPECT RNK
3rd
POSITION RNK
2nd
REC
89
REYDS
1569
YDS/REC
17.6
TDS
14
The Falcons have Drake London and signed Darnell Mooney but they could arguably still use help and depth and top-tier talent at WR if they believe in these prospects.
Round 1 – Pick 9
Byron Murphy II DL
TEXAS • JR • 6’1″ / 308 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
Chicago
PROSPECT RNK
15th
POSITION RNK
1st
It’s kind of difficult to troll the Bears, but passing on Rome Odunze to pair with Caleb Williams or grabbing an OL to protect the QB at nine is probably the closest thing.
Round 1 – Pick 10
Dallas Turner EDGE
ALABAMA • JR • 6’4″ / 252 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
N.Y. Jets
PROSPECT RNK
10th
POSITION RNK
1st
The Jets adding another pass rusher wouldn’t even be that shocking for this regime but people (aka Aaron Rodgers and all Jets fans) might not be thrilled!
Round 1 – Pick 1
Rome Odunze WR
WASHINGTON • JR • 6’3″ / 215 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
Minnesota
PROSPECT RNK
9th
POSITION RNK
3rd
REC
92
REYDS
1640
YDS/REC
17.8
TDS
15
Anytime you can get another weapon for SAM DARNOLD you HAVE TO DO IT.
Round 1 – Pick 12
Michael Penix Jr. QB
WASHINGTON • SR • 6’3″ / 213 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
Denver
PROSPECT RNK
30th
POSITION RNK
5th
PAYDS
4903
RUYDS
8
INTS
11
TDS
39
The Broncos NEED a quarterback but taking Penix here would qualify as a reach and probably rile up some Denver fans.
Round 1 – Pick 13
Brock Bowers TE
GEORGIA • JR • 6’4″ / 240 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
Las Vegas
PROSPECT RNK
14th
POSITION RNK
1st
REC
56
REYDS
714
YDS/REC
12.8
TDS
7
Nothing wrong with Bowers! But it has to feel like a luxury pick for the Raiders here.
Round 1 – Pick 14
Laiatu Latu EDGE
UCLA • SR • 6’5″ / 265 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
New Orleans
PROSPECT RNK
16th
POSITION RNK
3rd
Again, nothing wrong with the player but the Saints not improving the offensive line in this draft would be a pretty aggressive mistake.
Round 1 – Pick 15
JC Latham OT
ALABAMA • JR • 6’6″ / 360 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
Indianapolis
PROSPECT RNK
19th
POSITION RNK
5th
Hey buddy that offensive line is getting older in Indy.
Round 1 – Pick 16
Payton Wilson LB
NC STATE • SR • 6’4″ / 238 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
Seattle
PROSPECT RNK
62nd
POSITION RNK
2nd
Seahawks fans badly want linebacking help?!?! You got linebacking help!!!! (I actually think this is a sneaky real-life option for Thursday, fwiw.)
Round 1 – Pick 17
Chop Robinson EDGE
PENN STATE • JR • 6’3″ / 254 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
Jacksonville
PROSPECT RNK
22nd
POSITION RNK
4th
Jags fans really want a wide receiver but they’re probably more likely to be disappointed in Round 1 based on Trent Baalke’s history in the NFL Draft.
Round 1 – Pick 18
Brian Thomas Jr. WR
LSU • JR • 6’4″ / 205 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
Cincinnati
PROSPECT RNK
17th
POSITION RNK
4th
REC
68
REYDS
1177
YDS/REC
17.3
TDS
17
This might end up being a legit/good pick but Bengals fans can’t be thrilled about simply “drafting Tee Higgins replacement” a la Jessie Bates.
Mock Trade from Los Angeles Rams
Round 1 – Pick 19
Adonai Mitchell WR
TEXAS • JR • 6’4″ / 196 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
Carolina
PROSPECT RNK
27th
POSITION RNK
6th
REC
55
REYDS
845
YDS/REC
15.4
TDS
11
With Thomas coming off the board, David Tepper panics and trades both of his second-round picks to the Rams to move up into the first round and guarantee he gets a wide receiver. So the Rams still haven’t used a first-round pick since 2016 (Jared Goff!) and Carolina is giving up tons of draft picks to get the back end of a wide receiver run. EVERYONE LOSES!
Round 1 – Pick 20
Quinyon Mitchell CB
TOLEDO • JR • 6’0″ / 196 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
Pittsburgh
PROSPECT RNK
8th
POSITION RNK
1st
The most troll thing would be taking a QB, but I don’t think they’ll realistically do that in the first round … this is actually a pretty good pick maybe? Sometimes you run out of troll steam halfway through the troll draft.
Round 1 – Pick 2
Xavier Worthy WR
TEXAS • JR • 6’1″ / 172 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
Miami
PROSPECT RNK
31st
POSITION RNK
7th
REC
75
REYDS
1014
YDS/REC
13.5
TDS
6
Dolphins fans probably wouldn’t be thrilled with the team adding MORE TINY SPEED at wide receiver.
Round 1 – Pick 22
Amarius Mims OT
GEORGIA • JR • 6’7″ / 340 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
Philadelphia
PROSPECT RNK
18th
POSITION RNK
4th
This might be a realistic pick! Howie Roseman drafting a Georgia player to eventually replace Lane Johnson?!
From Houston Texans
Round 1 – Pick 23
Nate Wiggins CB
CLEMSON • JR • 6’2″ / 185 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
Minnesota
PROSPECT RNK
21st
POSITION RNK
3rd
Vikings fans would lose their MIND if they stood pat and went WR and CB in this draft after expecting a massive move up to get a QB.
Round 1 – Pick 24
Bo Nix QB
OREGON • SR • 6’2″ / 217 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
Dallas
PROSPECT RNK
38th
POSITION RNK
6th
PAYDS
4508
RUYDS
234
INTS
3
TDS
51
Jerry Jones is ALL IN … on leveraging Dak Prescott in contract negotiations next year.
Round 1 – Pick 25
Malachi Corley WR
WESTERN KENTUCKY • JR • 5’11” / 210 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
Green Bay
PROSPECT RNK
60th
POSITION RNK
14th
REC
79
REYDS
984
YDS/REC
12.5
TDS
11
Packers fans probably believe they’re set at WR and even if this is a pick they don’t hate, it always manages to troll Aaron Rodgers! (Twice this draft, sorry Aaron.)
Round 1 – Pick 26
Troy Fautanu IOL
WASHINGTON • JR • 6’4″ / 317 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
Tampa Bay
PROSPECT RNK
23rd
POSITION RNK
1st
A very good player in a spot where maybe the Bucs don’t need him? IDK
From Houston Texans
Round 1 – Pick 27
Terrion Arnold CB
ALABAMA • SOPH • 6’0″ / 196 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
Arizona
PROSPECT RNK
13th
POSITION RNK
2nd
The Cardinals coming out of the first round with two defensive players would be objectively hilarious.
Round 1 – Pick 28
Taliese Fuaga OT
OREGON STATE • JR • 6’6″ / 334 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
Buffalo
PROSPECT RNK
12th
POSITION RNK
3rd
A very good player … but not a wide receiver!!! Bills fans would be apoplectic.
Round 1 – Pick 29
Tyler Guyton OT
OKLAHOMA • JR • 6’7″ / 328 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
Detroit
PROSPECT RNK
36th
POSITION RNK
7th
The Lions are grabbing an offensive lineman for the future guys.
Round 1 – Pick 30
Kool-Aid McKinstry CB
ALABAMA • JR • 6’1″ / 195 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
Baltimore
PROSPECT RNK
29th
POSITION RNK
5th
An Alabama prospect who doesn’t help the offensive line or get Lamar Jackson another weapon.
Round 1 – Pick 31
Ladd McConkey WR
GEORGIA • JR • 6’0″ / 185 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
San Francisco
PROSPECT RNK
24th
POSITION RNK
5th
REC
30
REYDS
478
YDS/REC
15.9
TDS
3
I love the idea of Ladd on a Kyle Shanahan team but it’s probably extraneous!
Round 1 – Pick 32
Cooper DeJean CB
IOWA • JR • 6’1″ / 207 LBS
PROJECTED TEAM
Kansas City
PROSPECT RNK
25th
POSITION RNK
4th
Another fan base that would be fairly miffed without a WR being selected in the first round.
