According to reports, Robert De Niro has been excluded as a presenter from every major awards show scheduled for this season:

The intricacies of planning Hollywood’s elite awards ceremonies involve various committees, with one of the more challenging ones being the Presenter’s Committee. Their responsibility is to choose and vet numerous presenters, with each committee member having the ability to disqualify one presenter through a secret ballot. This year, the Oscar Committee unanimously voted against Robert De Niro.

“Nobody wants to see him stand there and recite his angry speech. He looks so silly behind the podium. Like a little white Papa Smurf,” remarked James Woods. “He’s lost all credibility.”

The current Oscar Chairman, Joe Barron, expressed confidence that De Niro won’t be invited to any awards show stage in the near future. “He’s a toxic little goon,” stated Barron. “He’s lucky he’s never been a Chris Rock’s distance from Will Smith.”

A similar story has emerged with the Golden Globes in the headline, and it’s anticipated that the Emmys will follow suit, along with a comparable piece concerning Garth Brooks and the Grammys for some unknown reason.

One thing remains certain, patriots – a new storyline is always refreshing around here. God Bless America.