In a new cover story with Allure, the actress admits, “I was a nightmare for everyone around me” as a first-time mom

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Jennifer Garner is getting real about her beginnings as a mom.

In her new cover story for Allure, the actress, 51, opened up about her struggles as a first-time mom. Garner shares three kids with ex-husband Ben Affleck: Samuel, 11, Seraphina, 14, and Violet, 17.

“I was such a first-time mom,” she shared. “My eldest daughter didn’t have a shot.”

“She couldn’t have a free thought—I was all over her. I was a nightmare for everyone around me.”

The 13 Going on 30 actress also mused about seeing her children grow up.

Jennifer Garner. TOM SCHIRMACHER/ALLURE

“Your kids will really figure out who they are and what they are when they’re older, and most likely they will hew toward lovely,” she explained.

“I have a lot of faith in my kids. I don’t love every behavior all the time, always. It’s gnarly growing up. We didn’t have the eyes on us that our kids have.”

Garner also revealed that she always knew she wanted to be a mom.

Jennifer Garner. TOM SCHIRMACHER/ALLURE

“Being a mother was one thing I knew I was going to be,” she proclaimed.

“I really could have been a mother in any way. I could have adopted, I could have fostered, but there was no doubt I was going to be a mom. I mean, I was the kid with the doll everywhere I went.”

“And I had a babysitting company with my friend Carrie — C & J’s Babysitting — from, like, seventh or eighth grade,” she shared.