While Ben Affleck doesn’t appear to have reunited with Jennifer Lopez on his birthday (she was busy posting pics of her own b-day/living it up at a Bruno Mars concert), he did spend quality time with the other Jennifer in his life.

Jennifer Garner was spotted visiting her ex-husband at his rental home on August 15 (some pap pics this way), and apparently, she’s continuing to be a huge support system for him.

“Jennifer Garner is being communicative and an understanding shoulder for Ben,” a source recently told Entertainment Tonight. “She’s there for him every step of the way and given the involvement of their kids, she’s very supportive. She also respects his private and personal life and doesn’t get too involved.”

Speaking of not getting too involved, another insider separately dished to the Daily Mail that the Alias star is done being a marriage counselor to her ex, saying “Jen eventually got to a place where she was like, ‘Sorry, figure this out yourself.’ It was beginning to become too painful for her because it was bringing back so many memories of their divorce.”

They went on to say, “Throughout their marriage there were times when Jen felt like she was second to J.Lo even though there was no communication between her and Ben for years. She was surprised at how public he became when they reunited because he was always a man who wanted to be out of the spotlight when they were married. Jen opened up her home and her life to J.Lo because she had moved on from the past. She cares about J.Lo and cares about their kids and how it will affect all of them. But in the end, it is not Jen’s circus, not Jen’s monkeys and she is done playing marriage counselor to her ex-husband and his wife.”